Weekend Reflections

Here I am sitting alone for the 4th day in a row. Where is my husband? He left for Michigan on Thursday (this is Sunday) to go to a dog show. I wasn't invited. Yes, had to work Thursday and Friday, but it did hurt my feelings a little that he never mentioned the possibility of me going, especially since I do have personal and comp days I can take.

The reason is probably due to the fact that his "dog show" wives were there. And of course they drove a huge RV, so guess who had to cart them around all weekend. I pretend not to care.

My son is in college now, 30 minutes away, and I thought he was going to come to church with me but his phone is turned off so I'm sure he's sleeping. My daughter is at her grandmother's. I am alone. I don't like it, but I am.

My husband will be back late tonight but then he will leave early in the morning to go to Chicago to get cars. I need a hobby. Maybe it's time to write that book I've been holding inside. Maybe that will take my mind off being lonely. Well, I guess I better leave for church. Alone.

Ahhh Vacation, the Unattainable Goal

Vacation was a staple for me when I was growing up. My parents didn't have much money, but we always went somewhere during the summer. So as an adult, I would love to go somewhere, anywhere! However, I cannot get my husband motivated to go anywhere (unless it involves dogs). Just once, I'd love to just go somewhere without dogs and without going to a dog event. I like to do all kinds of things, not just dog stuff. I actually *thought* we might go to Las Vegas next week. He even had me look up vacation deals there. I have never been and would love to go. However, now instead of flying to Vegas he is wanting to go to Chicago to do dog training. And a hotel? Who needs a hotel? We can just stay at his friend's house on a pull out in her dining room. What fun! And lets take all the dogs so that while they are doing "dog stuff" I can be walking, feeding, watering, etc. My kind of vacation! Oh and he said, "we'll just go to Vegas on October when the dog trial is." Boy, oh boy. The trial is not actually in Vegas, but an hour outside of Vegas in the middle of nowhere. With his "dog training" friend and I will add that they completely ignore me when they are together. An affair of the mind. I guess I could just rent a car and hang out in Vegas, they probably wouldn't even notice that I was gone.

I don't even want to go to Chicago AT ALL! But I will. I wish I could stand up for myself. I see other women who act all bitchy all the time and get whatever they want. My husband's best friend has the most unpleasant wife and they go on vacations all the time, basically anywhere she wants to go. Why? Her husband is afraid not to. Sometimes I wish I was more like that instead of being a pushover all the time. Then I might actually get to do something I want to do.

You might be asking yourself why don't I just go somewhere by myself? He goes places by himself all the time. Because the backlash I would experience would not be worth it in the long run. I don't really know what to do here. I guess I will do what I've always done and just go along with whatever. I need to get a doctor to prescribe some "I don't give a shit" pills, then I won't care what happens!